Yesterday was my 41st birthday. A day I happen to share with many people. One of them is Rihanna. I have never publicly commented on anything that happened to not fuel the fire, to not give extra publicity to an already over publicized situation. Today is a day where I will say something.
Chris Brown beat Rihanna. In fact he almost killed her and likely would have. We all saw her bruised and battered face, heard what happened. He plead guilty and both of them were ordered to stay away from each other. He received 180 days of labor in Virginia and was ordered to attend a domestic abuse program for one year. Yet with this history,yesterday they teamed up to release two songs on Rihanna’s 24th birthday.
It is within Rihanna’s rights to forgive him. None of us have to like it. She can even get back together with him. She is a big girl and it’s her life. I don’t like the fact that tonight both artists dropped a huge bomb on their fans. A very well and calculated bomb, guaranteed to create a firestorm that will light up our social media atmosphere. I really don’t care what two people decide to do with their lives in private. If they want to get back together they have the right to do so. But public is another matter.
I really feel so much disrespect for Rihanna. I feel she has let down many of her fans, some of which are young women that may one day find themselves in the same position as Rihanna herself. Or how about the young men, who may find themselves in a heated argument, who may not make the right decisions in the heat of the moment? Not to mention the absolute disrespect to women who are survivors of domestic violence themselves.
I feel the well orchestrated singles that were released today are just going to sensationalize an already bad situation. Chris Brown’s new single ” Turn up the music” features Rihanna singing with him, and her new single ” Birthday Cake” feature Chris Brown singing. So it is a musical collaboration.
I know there will be a huge backlash, and I am sure both artists are ready for it. It is such a shame really. I know there are people who do go back to people who have hurt them. But I am not one of those people. My mother was a woman who had many domestic disputes, and it was always swept under the rug. There is no sweeping here. There is no gray area in domestic violence. There is only black and white, right or wrong, black or blue.
We need more responsibility from public figures, yes no one asks for what comes with the price of fame, but like it or not when people like Rihanna and Chris Brown are thrust into the limelight, they become role models to all their fans. This is not even about the awards that he won at the Grammys, there are numerous artists who have won many awards and they were not the nicest people. I can separate the artist from the person so for me it’s not about that.
This is something bigger than that. This is a conceived slap in the face to all of us who cared enough to follow the story. Who were concerned enough for a young woman who found herself physically abused at the hands of someone who was supposed to love her. This is a betrayal.
The only thing that I see making this collaboration better is if both artists donate all their earnings to the cause of Domestic violence. To the education, understanding, and prevention of it happening. Can you do that Rihanna? Can you not laugh in the face of all the people who supported you? Can you Chris Brown make amends by not making money from a collaboration that is tainted by your own actions?
How about you give back to these organizations?
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Stop Abuse For Everyone-This is for men to seek help as well.
National Network To End Domestic Violence
There are so many more organizations to help women and men, so please Rihanna and Chris, do something to ease the sting of the huge slap you gave to everyone by your musical collaboration.
I am not so sure, but somewhere inside me there is a little bit of positivity left to hope something good will come out of this. If you feel like it would you please share this post. It may fall on deaf ears but then again it may not.
*** I just want to add that if this post feels like I am saying the abuse between these two was excusable, it isn’t. That was never my intent. Abuse of any kind is never okay.
The only thing that I can take away from this is to teach my own children it’s never okay to solve your problems by abusing someone else. I can teach my son to be the kind of man his father is. I can teach my daughters strength of character, help them grow their own confidence so that they can walk away from a situation.
We don’t all have to go back to abusers. I saw too much of that when I was younger, too many arguments, too much forgiveness at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. It’s a vicious cycle that I broke away from.
I understand that it’s also a cycle that many women don’t break away from. As we can plainly see.
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